Every relationship is unique, every partner special. At the beginning of a relationship it is clear that the person we love is one of a kind, exceptional and irreplaceable. But later other emotions can emerge, emotions that are connected not with the beginning of a relationship but with the couple separating temporarily or seeking the finality of a legal divorce. Emotions like feeling distant replace passion. Feelings of satisfaction are exchanged for discontentment while choices to avoid real problems replace long conversations and the commitment to get this relationship thing right. Partners survey their options considering the pros and cons of separation/divorce and may develop a separation strategy before they are even sure this is the path they will choose to walk. All of these feelings occur while each party experiences layers of fear, depression, grief, denial and anxiety. Is it any surprise that people coming to mediators and lawyers sometimes say they feel like they are going crazy?
People involved in stage two of the separation/divorce process often talk about feeling ambivalent or just generally discontented with their partner. It is at this time that one of the parties often suggest that marital counseling is needed. If you are thinking of separating or divorcing it is likely that you have already seen a counselor, explored what is and is not working in your relationship and tried unsuccessfully to change or change your partner. You may have gone through a honeymoon phase, gone on a vacation, given the relationship one last try. Sometimes this strategy does rekindle the flame of relationship but if you are reading this blog I suppose that is not what happened for you. Finally in this stage of marital decision making many parties experience a roller coaster set of emotions that come with bringing everything out in the open. Feelings of tensions vie with feelings of relief, doubt wrestles with feelings of certainty.
During Stage Two feelings, it is a good idea to make an appointment with a Smartsettle Family Dispute Resolution Professional. Each professional is committed to listening carefully to your thoughts and concerns. They will help you sort through a myriad of conflicting feelings and will assist you to explain what you really need from this situation. If you need a formal separation agreement then the Smartsettle team will be able to help you with the mediation, making sure you get the best legal, family and financial advice throughout the process.
