It is early January, Christmas has passed and those who have stayed in their marriages for the sake of preserving Christmas or for the sake of the children are reviewing their options. For some spouses the Christmas season has gone well and renewed their hope for their marriage. For others the waiting through Christmas has only confirmed their desire to leave the relationship. The research indicates that after Christmas there is a decided increase in the initiation of out-of-court separation agreements, calls to divorce lawyers, what some in the field call the Annual January Marital Breakdown.
You may find yourself considering what you should do now that Christmas is past. Maybe the blues you feel are just part of the low level depression that comes with the dark days of winter. If you think that is what is happening then I recommend you hold on and see if things get better as the days lengthen. If you know the need to end your relationship is not based in the winter blues then you will need to decided how to proceed at the “beginning of the end” of your marriage. You will have to decide who if anyone will help you on the next step of your journey.
In earlier blogs I reflected on the benefits of finding an out-of court settlement provider, a mediator, collaborative lawyer or negotiator able to help you stay in control of the process, one who will listen to what you need, help you juggle the multitude of issues needing to be resolved, someone who is able to help you toward a comprehensive high value /fair separation agreement. I also noted the advantages of working with someone using the Smartsettle eNegotiation system with its ability to harness the power of a computer system to facilitate the timely negotiation of any number of issues needing to be negotiated.
If you are reading this blog in British Columbia you may be aware the new Family Law Act (2012) has a preference for separation agreements being concluded out-of-court. The Act stipulates that the Agreements must be seen to be fair and in the child’s best interest with the courtroom not seen as the first place to go seeking such an agreement.
Marital melt down in January? Sure it’s not the winter blues? Who will help you negotiate the best agreement for yourself, any children, an agreement seen by the courts to be fair for everyone concerned? Today’s blog ends with one outstanding question if I am going to end the marriage who will help me end it well?